If this yearning is not satisfied, it can profoundly affect our well-being. Our desire to have our brains connect and synchronize with others starts at birth. “It’s what we all crave to be understood as a person with thoughts, emotions, and intentions that are unique and valuable and deserving of attention.”įMRI scans show that the greater the overlap between the speaker’s and listener’s brain activity in a conversation, the better the communication. You will develop the ability to acknowledge someone’s point of view with a sensitive response and encourage trust. By listening and inquiring, you show you are interested and that you care. Listening well will supercharge your conversations. We do not find shared humor in conversation as often, preferring to show one another internet memes and YouTube videos. In social situations, it is more common to pass around a phone to look at pictures instead of describing what we’ve seen or experienced recently. Many people say they are too busy to listen, or they cannot be bothered to listen, and tend to find texting or emailing more efficient. If someone tells a story that takes longer than thirty seconds, heads bow to read texts, check sports scores, or see what’s trending online. People are often too busy or distracted to explore one another’s thoughts and feelings, and this leads to distance between one another. “People describe me as the type of person who can talk to anyone, but it’s really that I can listen to anyone.” Done well, listening can transform your understanding of people and the world, which inevitably enriches and elevates your experience and existence. To listen poorly is to limit your understanding of the world and deprive yourself of becoming the best you can be. Our collective listening profoundly affects us socially and culturally. How well you listen determines your life’s course. Essentially, effective listening is how you develop wisdom and form meaningful relationships. Thoughtful responses will encourage them to communicate what’s really on their mind and in turn, this will help you better organize your thoughts too. It requires you to respond appropriately during conversations as your responses will determine how much the other person trusts you. It also requires paying attention to context, to the other person’s tone and attitude, and to how their message resonates within you. Listening goes beyond just hearing what people say. “In modern life, we are encouraged to listen to our hearts, listen to our inner voices, and listen to our guts, but rarely are we encouraged to listen carefully and with intent to other people.”
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